Losing is part of playing. How a meltdown at the game table can turn, over time, into congratulating and playing on.
A personalized picture book in which your child is the hero — and masters this challenge themselves. The first story is free.
Create This StoryDuring a memory game or family Ludo night, the moment your child loses for the second round in a row, game pieces suddenly sweep off the table and a «That's not fair!» echoes through the living room. Some children refuse to touch a game for days afterward; others only want to play when winning is guaranteed. A cozy game night tips into conflict fast, even though everyone really just wanted to have fun together. For you as a parent, this is a tricky balancing act: you don't want to simply let your child win, but you also don't want the evening to end in tears.
At this age, many children's sense of self-worth is still closely tied to the outcome: losing doesn't feel like «didn't win today» but like «I'm not good enough.» On top of that, the ability to empathize with a fellow player's joy is still growing — that the other person also wants to win is hard to grasp when your child's own frustration fills the whole moment. This feeling isn't a character flaw at first — it's a normal developmental stage that eases a little with every further game.
A story separates losing from a child's sense of worth: your child watches a character rage briefly after a loss, then sit back down at the table and keep playing. This gives your child an inner picture of what a loss can look like without the friendship or the game itself suffering because of it.
In the personalized story, your child themselves loses a game against a friend or sibling — with their own face on every illustration —, feels disappointed for a moment, then congratulates the winner and stays at the table. This way your child experiences good sportsmanship as their own heroic moment rather than a lecture. Gradually your child notices that the friendship and the shared fun of playing remain, no matter who wins in the end. The first story is free, so you can look through it together before the next game night.
For your next game night: deliberately include games of pure chance, like dice games, where losing says nothing about skill — that takes some of the weight off the outcome. Don't always let your child win; instead, accompany the loss («That's annoying, and you still played really well»). Praise congratulating and continuing to play explicitly. Talk openly about the fact that you too sometimes don't enjoy losing — that normalizes the feeling without excusing it. And if your child turns aggressive or puts themselves down heavily after every loss, talk to a child psychology professional about it.
Handling losses, good sportsmanship, emotional regulation, empathy, staying in the game.
4-9 years
Occasionally yes, especially with very young children, but not always — otherwise your child never learns to handle a genuine loss. Choose games with a strong element of pure chance too, where nobody controls the outcome.
Stay calm and name the feeling («Losing is annoying») instead of brushing it off or ending the game immediately. Offer to keep playing again in a few minutes, once the first wave of frustration has settled.
This typically develops between roughly five and nine years old, depending on the child. Practice genuinely makes a difference here — the more often your child loses in a safe setting, the sooner they learn that a loss says nothing about their worth.
Model it yourself — lose on purpose sometimes and show how you handle it. After the game, briefly talk about what everyone enjoyed, rather than only discussing who won and who lost.
On a one-off basis, that's no cause for concern — give them a moment to themselves. But if withdrawing becomes the fixed pattern after every single loss, it helps to deliberately choose shorter games with more elements of chance.
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